As excited as I was about Christmas, I’m so grateful it is all over now. Jason and I took a long nap yesterday and I actually went to bed before 11 pm! This holiday really tired me out, but it was all worth it. Squid’s Very First Christmas was a success.

As for the state of my house…it may take a week to repair the damage.

I should really be napping right now. It’s 2 pm, and I’ve been up since around 4 - up, that is, with a cranky baby. Correction: up with a cranky, poopy, gassy baby. I didn’t realize the source of Squid’s restlessness until I lifted him from his crib in the middle of the night to find that his diaper had failed him. He was wet from armpit to ankle. Oh, great, he’s dipped in piss, I thought. I should be so lucky…

No, as it turned out, he was blanketed in diarrhea; it had filled his diaper and then some. His clothes (both layers) were soaked. I woke up Jason and together we cleaned the mess. “What did he eat?”

I hesitated telling him. “Pureed pears. Lots.”

“O…kaaaayyy. No more pears!”

“Right.”

We attempted to put Squid down again, but he was inconsolable. And farting. Loud. Really loud. So, I held him on the couch until he seemed to be getting sleepy again, watching Planet of the Apes to pass the time - you know, the one with Charlton Heston. P.S. Why do you think actors of that time overacted? They always sound so cheesy to me. In 40 years, will my grandchildren think the same of Matt Damon?

Anyway, so Squid finally began to doze off, at which point Jason took over and held him on his chest while I gratefully slipped back into the bedroom. A few hours later, he was up again, screeching from the living room. Not again…

Yes, again.

Poop as far as the eye can see. Ugh. Off with the clothes, out with the washcloths, wet wipes, powder and diaper. By then, I just decided it wasn’t worth trying to get back to sleep since Squid was clearly not going down again anytime soon. I crawled to the kitchen (at least that’s what it felt like) and made a pot of coffee - which, by the way, still hasn’t kicked in.

Yeah, I think I’m gonna take myself up on that nap…

One thing I absolutely LOVE is when, after months of my baby awaking only twice a night, he reverts into his 4 week-old routine of waking up every hour and a half, screaming at the top of his lungs, keeping me up pretty much all night until I physically want to pull my hair out just to alleviate the pain of no sleep. Because, truly, what is worse than not sleeping? Ok, probably many things, but in the moment - when you are dead tired and are prevented from getting your much needed rest, there is nothing worse.

When I was pregnant, everyone said, “You’ll get no rest,” and I thought, “Yeah, whatever.” When you’re pregnant, you just have no idea what “You’ll get no rest” means. What’s the big deal? So I’ll be up at night; I’ll get a few less hours; I’ll get used to it; It might even be fun; I’ll get to watch late night T.V., catch up on my talk shows…

How grateful was I when Lil’ Squid started sleeping in 6 hour increments! Those few months of catching 3 hours of sleep ON A GOOD NIGHT, day after day, week after week, made me believe I may never be able to do this again! People always say it is the pain of giving birth that makes women feel they may never want to have another child, but for me it was the pain of no sleep! Birth was a walk in the park compared to the agony of living through the first three months after Squid was born.

Once he began sleeping more regularly, I was so relieved, renewed, miraculously healed by the new sleep that I was getting that I was sure that, yes, I could do this again! Funny how quickly we forget - how quickly I forgot…

Until last night, that is. Proof? Ok, sure. But be warned…

Told you.

Oh, yeah, here’s the other half of this little story today…

Don’t you just love that look of innocence in his eyes? What, mama, did I do something wrong? Arrrrrrr….