Yeah, yeah, I love me some Little Mermaid and Snow White. And, yes, I’ve heard all the stuff about how Disney is sexist (think about it…every movie - every SINGLE movie (save Fantasia, maybe) - portrays male dominance over women), and I just go, “Whatever.” So, Disney is inappropriate and chauvinistic and all that. Okay, I can live with that. They’re just movies, and they are fun. Plus, I love Disneyland.

But, then, last night I started reading Cinderella to Squid. I didn’t get past the first paragraph and here’s why:

“Once upon a time in a faraway land there was a young girl named Cinderella. When she was a child, her mother died.”

At that point, I shut the book and selected another (non-Disney!) story to read before bedtime. C’mon! What the hell is that? Her mother died! Is that really necessary?

You pretty much have to be really nice about the whole thing when you LET your kid play with a baseball bat in the house! I mean, c’mon! I don’t really care how cool people think the Wii is (I’ve played it, it’s not that great), it doesn’t mean you should EVER play baseball in the freaking house. Really, people, it’s not brain surgery.

Why are catalogs featuring swimsuits showing up in my mail already? Arg. Ist it really time to buy a suit?! I’m almost afraid not to, since last season I got stuck with all the crap. I think I waited until June. You can’t, not if you want a nice/attractive/cute suit that fits.

Of course, if you are an A cup and an XS bottom (in other words, a seven-year old boy), then you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want to do. I have the HARDEST time finding suits. I’m…let’s just say…I got some stuff going on up top. Here’s a thought: if you’re full-busted, BiggerBras.com carries a large selection of swimsuits in sizes up to DD and E cups. Unlike most online retailers, Bigger Bras will sell tops and bottoms separately, so you can make sure you get the perfect fit. It’s awesome. Don’t you hate when the top and the bottom come in a pair and you can’t mix and match?

P.S. They also sell full busted lingerie. Have fun!

Don’t even lie. This could not be cuter. No, it can’t. My bomber boy. (You can’t really tell from the picture, but he is riding on his new rocking jet plane courtesy of Target.) This was taken Christmas morning, btw. I’m late, but isn’t it worth the wait?

I bought this today to go with my pink headphones. I thought maybe I wanted to get an iPod, but screw that. I came to my senses. And to prove how stupid Apple is, I can’t drag any of my iTunes songs into my new MP3 player. Of course not. That would be too easy. I already bought the song, I should be able to put it anywhere I want. What losers.

The tree is still standing. The Christmas presents are still under the tree. The mess is still everywhere.

Okay, today for reals. The purge begins. I already got rid of 4 bags of toys before Xmas even came because I knew we wouldn’t have room for the new stuff. And we still don’t. I can’t even walk from the living room to the bathroom without stumbling over and activating some singing toy.

So, that’s it. Another toy dump is needed. Bad.

Last night I was awakened by a really scary sound. Like a mouse.

At first I thought they were inside my television cabinet, scratching at the back of the T.V. It sounded like sharp nails attempting to climb something slick. Maybe a few mice. Or one big shiny rat!

I just stayed in bed for a minute and considered ignoring it. I was THAT tired. Jason was in the living room working on the computer, so when the sound didn’t go away, I pulled myself out of bed to go get help. From what, I still didn’t know. I was halfway down the hall when it hit me. It was the stupid tree outside. It was particularly windy last evening and one of the branches was scraping across the window.

I’m not sure, maybe mice would have been better. At least we could have scared them away and I’m positive my one of my four cats would have killed them overnight. As it was, it was way too dark to go outside and trim the branch, so for the rest of the night….SKKKKKRRRAAAAEEEEAAAAA! every freaking two minutes!

I ended up sleeping on the couch and now my neck hurts.

Buying a house - in one word: stressful. I can’t eat! And that’s like…unusual! I want to keep you posted, but even I can’t think it out in my own brain. All I can say is today is a crucial day and the waiting is making me crazy.