What’s gross is when there is a person at the gym who has really bad breath. And they are breathing all over the place and in really loud, disgusting puffs. “Hooo! Hooo!” It’s bad enough having to hear people breathe like that when they’re working out, but then when they smell like onions and death…I can’t handle it.

A few days ago I wrote about my pug eating crayons and them showing up in his poop.

Yesterday Squid stuffed a bunch of crayons down his diaper and took a massive turd. Then he stuck his hand in there to try and fish the crayons out. I found all this out after he started screaming, “Cowo suck! Cowo suck!” Translation: “Colors stuck! Colors stuck!”

What is going on with all the poop and crayons?

OK, so I was working out this weekend and guess what? Someone was shot just outside the gym! Yeah, I walked out and the entire block was taped off with four or five cop cars lined up down the street. That’s nice, right? Well, shit, like my stepmom says, as long as I keep working out, I’ll be able to kick anyone’s ass if I ever need to!

I’m so pissed right now. Blog it out, honey, blog it out.

(Deep breath)

So, I just put Squid down for a nap (finally!) and who shows up? Roofers! Loud roofers fixing some bullshit hole in our…you guessed it, ROOF!

Oh. My. God. They are so loud!

I just hope Squid doesn’t wake up. It’s been so difficult lately to get him down in the afternoon.

(Sigh)

Whatever. I’ll deal with it if he does wake up. It’s just a pain in the ass, ‘cuz if he doesn’t have his nap, he’s a total nightmare come bedtime.

Please, please, please don’t wake up!

Oh. My. God.

I can’t believe I’m so old.

Or, just to make me feel better, the people who work at Blockbuster are so very, very stupid.

I went in today and this is what took place.

Conversation One (between the cashier and a random customer)

Customer: Do you have Weird Science?

Cashier: Is that a series?

Customer: No, it’s a movie.

Cashier: Hmmm…No.

Customer: Okay, do you have The Breakfast Club?

Cashier: What?

Customer: The Breakfast Club!”

Cashier: Um…no.

As if this wasn’t painful enough to watch, I approached the register.

Conversation Two (between me and completely different cashier)

Me: Do you guys have How To Make An American Quilt?

Cashier: Um, no, that movie is really old.

Me: Really old? It came out in 1995.

Cashier: We don’t have it.

Me: O-kaaaaay.

Alright, now. If there is any reason to cancel your Blockbuster membership, this is it! They don’t know shit!! Not knowing a classic ’80’s movie…not carrying a mid-’90’s movie…it’s just too much. Too much.

We took Squid out to Stowe Lake in GGP this weekend to thrill and delight him with his very first row boat ride. The first forty minutes or so was amazing. The sun was out, Squid was happily feeding the seagulls, everyone was smiling and pointing out how cute of a family we all were…

And then the fit occurred. And didn’t stop until we got back to shore (a very long, long, long 30 minutes later.) We were rowing as fast as we could, trying to laugh off the fact that those people who were just smiling and nodding their heads, probably wishing they, too, could have a sweet little baby like ours, were now staring in horror as the budding toddler writhed and screamed in my arms.

It wasn’t too pretty. He wanted to take his life jacket off, which of course we wouldn’t allow, and because these days he really isn’t too “into” the word NO, he made everyone sorry. Even the people sitting far off at the picnic tables couldn’t help but turn their heads and drop their sandwiches.

I starting rocking Squid back and forth and singing to myself. Jason said I looked like a crazy person. Even the seagulls wouldn’t come near us anymore.

Another fun day as Squid nears the big 2.

What the hell. We were out at the beach and park last night, so we recorded all the Oscar pre-show crap and the show itself. So, why am I mad? Because Comcast sucks, and because the Oscars went long. Result? The last half hour or so of the show got cut off. Yep. We missed it. I mean, I know now who won (thanks to the Internet), but it was truly disappointing to have gotten through all the other BS, and FINALLY get to the best part only to have Comcast pop up its “DO YOU WISH TO DELETE” message! ARG!

Surely you all know by now that I am a member of PPP. I started last year, wrote a blog about it and have talked about my involvement with PPP (now Izea) off and on for just under half a year.

I’ve enjoyed writing sponsored posts. Maybe that’s evil. After all, there seem to be a whole gang of bloggers out there (headed by their leader, Google) that believe I am the spawn of the Devil for associating myself with PPP.

I had no idea I was committing some mortal sin in writing the off-hand, quirky, random posts about bedroom furniture, paintball stores and colored dance tights! Wow, I should be ashamed!

Long story short, Google hammered my Page Rank to a ZERO last night. For members of PPP, this means they can no longer accept the paid opportunities that - for around 6 months now - have given me the chance to actually make some sort of income while taking care of my 22 month-old you all fondly know of as “Squid.”

Clearly, Google is attempting to monopolize the online advertising market. It is widely known that PPP is the most attractive alternative to AdSense, so why not screw those involved with PPP? Good for them, bad for the rest of us.

I’m not stunned, just incredibly frustrated. How they could sabotage an innocent blogger looking to make some money for her family is beyond me. Now, that’s evil.