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Chow

Monday, December 18th, 2006

Squid’s latest obsession is the dog bowl. He’s tipped the water too many times to count, each requiring a full change of clothes. I have now learned to run and grab him as soon as he even looks toward the kitchen, but today I let him have his fun. At first I worried that he might try to put the pebbles of dog food in his mouth, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in that. It’s all about drenching himself in the saliva cocktail that rests in the water bowl. Now I just close the kitchen door to prevent any sort of self-bathing or experimentation with dog chow. But poor Squid, he just wants to play!

dinner time

two of a kind

Twelve is a Magic Number

Saturday, December 9th, 2006

Why do we sing “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” and what does it all mean? Chances are you are as clueless as I was before I read this. Who knew the 12 days begin the day after Christmas and that each silly verse actually corresponds to different aspects of the Bible? The words we sing really don’t mean anything, but the numbers do (e.g. The Twelve Drummers Drumming are actually representative of the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles’ Creed; Eleven Pipers Piping are Jesus’ eleven faithful disciples; Ten Lords A-leaping are the Ten Commandments, and so on).

Now, if I’ve lost you at “Bible,” trust me - I’m not super religious, either! But, from a historical perspective, it is pretty fascinating to learn the meanings of things we take for granted or recite out of habit. If anything, it makes me feel less ignorant, which is always a plus in my book!

To get to the real point of this post: I’ve constructed my own Twelve Days of Christmas as pertaining to ways in which we can help during this holiday season through volunteering efforts. Of course, they are created specifically for those who live in the Bay Area, but you can find your own excellent opportunities at Idealist.

*Twelve Drummers Drumming*

If you play an instrument or can carry a tune, The Chaparral House in Berkeley needs you to help entertain its elderly residents.

*Eleven Pipers Piping*

Are you handy? Do you have basic carpentry and/or plumbing skills (hence the “pipe”…get it?) If so, The Women’s Daytime Drop-In Center of Berkeley could use you to help fix basic repairs.

*Ten Lords A-leaping*

If homelessness and human rights interest you, the Eviction Defense Collaborative of San Francisco needs volunteer intake counselors and legal interns to help empower low-income tenants who are being sued by their landlords.

*Nine Ladies Dancing*

The Salvation Army in San Francisco is looking for a line dancing or ballroom dancing instructor to teach seniors how to shake their groove thang.

*Eight Maids A-milking*

Thimmakka’s Resources for Environmental Education, located in Oakland, needs people to volunteer to work with farmers in presenting local produce, price lists and seasonal availability to restaurants.

*Seven Swans A-swimming*

The Berkeley YMCA needs help teaching children who have physical and/or developmental challenges to…you guessed it!…SWIM!

*Six Geese A-laying*

A favorite of mine, Newborns in Need is an organization that helps care for newborn babies and their families. Sick and needy children are provided with handmade sleepers, receiving blankets, booties, quilts and more. If you sew, knit or crochet, this is the perfect volunteer opportunity for you.

*Five Golden Rings*

Oasis For Girls (a project of The Tides Center) in San Francisco needs assistance teaching girls how to make jewelry at their seasonal workshops.

*Four Calling Birds*

Suicide Prevention & Community Counseling in Marin County is looking for volunteers to work the hotlines and make a difference in a caller’s life. The holidays can be very rough on some and there are desperate people out there who would be grateful to hear the kind and compassionate voices of people like you.

*Three French Hens*

McDonald Ranch - a nonprofit sanctuary in Santa Rosa that helps homeless animals - needs volunteers to feed and care for chickens, amongst other country animals.

*Two Turtle Doves*

Help Increase the Peace Program (HIPP) of San Francisco needs volunteers to help facilitate workshops that educate young people about stereotypes and how to break through the violence of the world through peaceful communication skills.

*And a Partridge in a Pear Tree*

The Golden Gate National Parks Conservancy of S.F. is looking for helpers to restore and rebuild California Quail habitat. (I did this one a few weeks ago and had a blast.)

Imaginary Friend

Sunday, November 5th, 2006

adopt your own virtual pet!

Thanks, fussy, for the idea of the virtual pet. As for my real-life pets: Buzz, Joey, Chateaubriand, Snorlax, Scooter, Grandpa Fraidy Cat and Cookie, they can all just take a hike. Alright, that’s a little cruel. I love ‘em truly, I do.

Buzz, the 80-year-old pug, got something stuck in his paw the other day and has been limping around pathetically all weekend. It’s funny, though, how he’s magically healed when bacon is being cooked in the kitchen. Weird.

Joey is a cattle dog. Need I say more?

Chateaubriand is a fierce, fat thing that terrorizes Snorlax.

Snorlax is a mildly retarded tabby with permanent petrified poop on his ass.

Scooter is a Siamese Fighting Fish who lives on the mantle.

Grandpa Fraidy, or just plain Fraidy, is a tough, old grey feral rescued from my husband like 25 years ago. Ok, fourteen.

Cookie is my little girl, a frisky black and white biatch I adopted in 2001.

And the newest addition: Me llamo llama! My perfect, hassle-free, obedient llama. He’s from Bolivia, I just decided. Click on “MORE” to feed him or just click him to make him jump. Trust me, he likes it.

Mama’s Little Helpers

Sunday, October 15th, 2006

I have a major love/hate relationship with my pets. Before I had a baby, I loved them more than I hated them. Now it’s the opposite. The cat’s too needy, the dogs are too loud. One of them rubs his body on the carpet, creating the most hideous hair balls which I then have to vacuum right away because I don’t want the baby crawling around in nasty dog hair; the other one can’t NOT make noise: he eats, sleeps and breathes louder than anything, EVER. Snort, snort, snort - he may as well be a pot-bellied pig. The cat has to be everywhere I am at all times and meows so as to let me know she’s right there with me. Thanks, cat. Don’t even get me started on the “accidents” in the garage I get to wake up to on certain glorious mornings, or the undigested meow mix that the damn kitty leaves in wet clumps under the bed.

But!…I have found a way to keep the love alive! All I have to do is put the baby next to one of them when he is crying or cranky, and MAGIC! Silent baby! He is so enthralled by these obnoxious creatures, it takes his tears away! Looks like I can keep them, after all.



Here, Squid can’t get enough of Cookie the Cat.




Buzz the Pug provides entertainment by eating his toes. (Hey, whatever works, right?)

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