The Darkest Day Of All
Welp. The time has come. It’s finally here. The day I’ve been dreading since I stared at the white stick in my hand that read “Pregnant.”
Squid.
Has.
Discovered.
Teletubbies!!!
It’s horrific but true. And I blame Jason.
It happened on a dark and stormy morning one day last week. I awoke, walked into the living room - still groggily wiping the sleep from my eyes - to discover the two of them planted in front of the brightly lit television screen. “TIME FOR TELETUBBIES! TIME FOR TELETUBBIES!” came the echoed voice of some invisible robot woman.
Oh dear God, no. No, this isn’t happening. I’m still dreaming. I haven’t yet awoken! I’m sleepwalking!
No such luck. I could tell by the look in Squid’s eyes that he’d already been contaminated. Brainwashed. Resistance would be futile. There was only one thing to do. I had to join them.
And so I sat and watched as Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa and Po danced around the green hills of Teletubby Hell. All I could really say was, “It’s too bad I don’t drop acid anymore.”
I tried to find the video of the custard-squirting episode which is probably the most disturbingly pornographic thing I’ve ever seen in a cartoon (also funny enough to make us record and save it on TiVo, but that’s beside the point), but no luck. I did, however, find this great parody with George Bush playing the sun baby.
May 31st, 2007 14:26
In our house, my daughter chants “TUBBIES! TUBBIES! TUBBIES!” It is HORRIBLE, I tell ya.
May 31st, 2007 20:49
I actually like Teletubbies. Shameful I know, but much better than Barney by a long shot. One time when Evan was in the hospital and I had left to get breakfast his nurse tried to show him a Barney tape. I yanked the power cord once I saw what he was watching. I think the nurse thought I was nuts but there was no way I wanted him any more contaminated than he already was.
We don’t do Dora, The Wiggles or Blue’s Clues. It is Thomas, Bob the Builder or Sesame Street with a little Mr. Rodgers on the side. I like things simple.
May 31st, 2007 21:11
OH! I forgot the custard squirt! That was the only thing I dug about the Teletubbies! My oldest was a fanatic about them. We had videos and the dolls and on and on.
However, I’d totally go back to them just to push the Doodlebops under the bus…
June 1st, 2007 00:19
Haha! We missed that show, jealous? ;P
June 1st, 2007 06:24
Not the Teletubbies! I used to yell at the crackhead sister for letting my neices watch it but they turned out OK so I suppose Squid could do worse. Love that video!
June 4th, 2007 13:31
Quick - replace it with Blues Clues!!
June 5th, 2007 10:21
oh dear - i feel ashamed to be british. and they film it near to here too - in a secret location to the north of stratford! apparently it was dead high security and everything.
June 5th, 2007 11:02
I know. I used to teletubby-phobic and managed to keep Lily away from them (altho she DID like the poo-bah freaks) but Emma enjoys the TTs every periodically and so the jig is up. They are strange. and a little creepy.but are they harmful? Time will only tell. I imagine Piper will be just googoo for them because that is just the way life is.
June 5th, 2007 12:23
Just be glad its not Boobah! That’s enough to have any Mom wanting to jump out of a window
June 8th, 2007 04:57
So funny, Sloth has been showing him teletubbies on You Tube too and I walked in and said WTF are you doing to him? He, of course, now loves them.
December 13th, 2007 02:29
Its Interesting,
My Friend Nancy has beem showing me teletubies.My Nephew & Niece also like these