This test can’t possibly be accurate, Nanette, because I most definitely do not despise nerds! “Definitely not nerdy, you are probably cool,” they say. I think that’s just a polite way of saying, “Definitely not that smart, you are probably stupid!” Now, that’s more like it!

As excited as I was about Christmas, I’m so grateful it is all over now. Jason and I took a long nap yesterday and I actually went to bed before 11 pm! This holiday really tired me out, but it was all worth it. Squid’s Very First Christmas was a success.

As for the state of my house…it may take a week to repair the damage.

If you don’t watch Spongebob, two things:

A) Where have you been?

and

B) Whu?

I am so, so glad there is a smart, funny and clever cartoon on that is not disgusting, violent or insulting! I can honestly say I watch Spongebob even when my kids aren’t around.

So, in honor of Christmas Eve Eve, here’s a little taste of the magical goodness that is Spongebob Squarepants.

Because Squid is now teething like crazy, we’ve resorted to digging out a number of kitchen utensils from the drawers and tossing them out on the carpet, making a trail of yummy chewy things with which he can indulge himself at his own leisure. Plastic measuring spoons, silicone ice-cube trays, Tupperware tops…you name it, he’s eaten it!

His favorite is the rubbery, bulbous thing I plucked from the top of the baster. It’s mighty cute the way he cups it in his hands and holds it right in front of his face, looks at it a minute, then dives right in like it was corn on the cob drenched in butter!

The problem is he is constantly dropping it, then crying out as though some very mean person has stolen it from him! So, this morning, while he was resting in his swing and again, after he had dropped his favorite new teething toy, I shrugged my shoulders and asked of him, “Squid? Where’s your rubber? What did you do with your rubber?”

I went on like this for a few minutes, searching the house and assuring Squid, “I’ll find your rubber. Your rubber couldn’t have gone very far. Gotta have a rubber!”

I then stopped, cocked my head (er, make that 2 Freudian slips down, 9,999 to go…), kind of squinted at no one in particular and made the internal decision to find a new name for Mr. Rubber.

Two things about (commercialized) Christmas that I think are creepy:

1) Seeing little people act as Santa’s elves in Radio Shack and Home Depot commercials, amongst others. It seems demeaning in a really uncomfortable, obnoxious way. I know I don’t really have the authority to speak on the subject, and clearly these actors choose to be cast in these roles, but I gotta say it leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

I really loved seeing Peter Dinklage play the sexy nanny for Sean and Julia in this season’s Nip/Tuck. Not only did it break the stereotypical norm of a woman acting as the childcare specialist, but it put Dinklage in a role where he was desired and made to be seen as a threat to Sean, the husband. I guess to experience that and then click the channel to see little people with elf boots on just makes me a little ill.

2) Santa in the mall. I know it’s a tradition for many parents to have their small child pose with Mall Santa, but it gives me the heebes. I actually considered putting Squid through the trauma, but reconsidered when I remembered how ultimately ridiculous a notion it is to put my baby on a stranger’s lap and wiggle some keys at him in hopes to make him smile. The whole thing is just grotesque to me. When he is older and actually communicates to me, “Mama, I want to sit on Santa…” then I will gladly permit him to go through the ritual. But until then, Mall Santa will just have to wait.

Santa came early this year and gave us all a wonderful gift…two emerging front teeth on the less than thrilled Squid. Oh, yes, that’s right! Extra fussiness and all…St. Nick just piled it on his sleigh and dumped it right smack dab in the middle of an already extremely chaotic week.

Yay.

Five more days…

The annoyance of the holidays is wearing off and I am now beginning to feel excited about Christmas. I’ll probably spend a good part of the day tomorrow wrapping gifts, a skill I have yet to master. Although I still have a million and one things to do before the big day, I sense that giddy feeling balling up inside. And, hello! Five days is like an eternity, right??!?! ;-) (I think I’ll file this post under “Naiveté“…)

Squid’s latest obsession is the dog bowl. He’s tipped the water too many times to count, each requiring a full change of clothes. I have now learned to run and grab him as soon as he even looks toward the kitchen, but today I let him have his fun. At first I worried that he might try to put the pebbles of dog food in his mouth, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in that. It’s all about drenching himself in the saliva cocktail that rests in the water bowl. Now I just close the kitchen door to prevent any sort of self-bathing or experimentation with dog chow. But poor Squid, he just wants to play!