Victory
A few months into our relationship, my husband (casual dating partner, at the time) initiated a conversation that went something like this:
“You’re not the type to get mad if the toilet paper is facing the opposite way you face it, right?”
After I’d gotten over the extremely irritating and presumptuous nature of this question (I mean, who said I’m gonna be dealing with YOUR toilet paper, anyway!), I answered, “I could give a shit.” What he didn’t hear were my accompanying thoughts: As long as it’s facing the RIGHT WAY, of course!
“Cool.”
“Why?” I asked. “Which way do you face the toilet paper?”
“I face it so that the flap comes from underneath, not lying over the top.”
(In other words, the WRONG WAY!) “Oh,” I said. And that was that.
Later, when I had moved in with this fling-turned-fiancé, I bit my lip when I’d go into the bathroom, and eventually learned to do what I had said I’d do in the first place, which was simply not care that the T.P. was facing the WRONG WAY!
Then, one day, when the toilet paper had run low, I removed the existing roll and refilled it with a fresh one. (Hmm…I could have some fun with this.) I placed the roll the way I’d always done it, and sat back to watch the magic unfurl.
A few hours later, I heard a cry coming from the bathroom. “Hon?!?”
In my most innocent and endearing voice, I replied, “Yes, dear?”
My bones were shaking; a tingle spread through my body; he was going to do it, I could feel it!
“You put the toilet paper on the wrong way!”
At this, I joyfully skipped down the hallway, shouting, “A-HA! I knew it!”
He tried to cover his fatal mistake, of course, but there was no turning back. He’d been caught, shamefully revealed as the true toilet paper freak!
Let’s just say it was the first of many victories… And, yet, to this day, it still remains one of the sweetest!
November 14th, 2006 11:42
Classic! We have the same battle at our house…and on the rare occasion that he replaces the roll–I rarely turn it the right way! :)
November 14th, 2006 13:04
Well,, I’d rather have it on the wrong way than the empty roll on the holder and the new roll half used on the edge of the sink.
November 14th, 2006 13:26
OMG, so true!
November 14th, 2006 16:54
bravo. there is something to be said for patience. sweet victory.
November 14th, 2006 18:12
He should live w/my husband who constantly puts it on the WRONG way. Don’t they know you can do it one handed if you have it coming from the top?
November 14th, 2006 18:56
OMG! Hysterical! It’s amazing how such little things turn into big things. Like a wonderful memory for a lifetime!
November 14th, 2006 19:39
Sweet! That was totally smooth.
November 14th, 2006 19:42
At least he actually replaces the rolls! Unlike some unnamed wives I know …
Great post!
November 14th, 2006 22:27
ha! i drew diagrams and left detailed instructions in our bathroom to ensure the roll out would come from the top.this still just seems to confuse my husband, who simply leaves a new roll on the counter for me to handle. This is the topic that will be debated through the ages!
November 15th, 2006 08:25
you are RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT and he is WRONG WRONG WRONG! stick to your principles! this is worth fighting for … not that i’m obsessive or anything …
November 15th, 2006 19:05
Um, hon, shouldn’t you admit that your latest “right” way is typically just sitting on top of the tank? :)
November 15th, 2006 19:25
well, maybe it’s my way of rejecting the wrong way! or, maybe i’m just lazy…in any case, shhhhh!
November 18th, 2006 03:42
Your way IS the right way, or so my ex-spouse taught me. One way or the other, what really pisses me off is when both plies don’t tear at the same place and the whole roll is screwed up until the “end.”
November 21st, 2006 12:55
The argument for having the paper come out over the top rather than underneath.
In my house, I have children. Children are not the most proficient at “wiping”, often having to go back for a second or third helping of TP. Also, at times, “stuff” may have inadvertently gotten onto their fingers during the first attempts at wiping. if the paper is hanging down the wall, and poopy fingers go to grab paper, where do you think the poop goes from the fingers?? EXACTLY, directly onto the wall.