Caution: Kids at Play

So, it’s that time of year when the big toy catalogs start showing up at our doorstep. The other night, my stepson began flipping through one of them, marking pages and copying titles onto what will eventually become his finalized letter to Santa.

I always loved looking through those things, no matter what age I was, and still do to this day. When I was little, just the pictures made me happy - just the hope of one day having the pretty new Barbie or My Little Pony. Staring at the pages, my imagination would take off full force and it almost didn’t even matter to me if I received the real thing or not. I said almost!

Now, looking through the Toys ‘R’ Us Christmas catalog, I am more frightened than anything. Can you believe they actually make a CSI kit for kids! I’m not kidding. Here’s the official product description:

Collect, examine and record fingerprints with Grissom’s CSI Team! Fingerprints are unique to every person on earth, because no two prints are alike, they are a very important tool in the science of identification. Learn to use one of the oldest crime solving methods by using step by step instruction from the activity book. The tools that are included with the kit will allow you to perform procedures similar to those conducted by law enforcement both on real crime scenes and in the CSI laboratories. A fun and exciting challenge for anyone interested in being a crime scene investigator, each activity exemplifies the importance of using science to solve crimes. Remember, “The Evidence Never Lies!”

Please tell me I’m not the only one who finds this extremely disturbing. But, what’s even more scary is the “Baby Alive Doll” that (no joke!) actually shits out of her ass! “Here you go, honey, you better start learning how to change diapers. After all, you are 6 years old! Merry Christmas, now go burp your baby!” (And we wonder why our country has a problem with teenage pregnancy!)

Ahh, to be back in the ’80’s, when toys didn’t secretly send a message to grow up!

Popples: As I recall, they were small, rodent-type stuffed animals that rolled up inside themselves and then unrolled to reveal their furry little faces! Mine was purple and pink.

Lite Brite: My grandma kept one at her house for when me and my brother visited. D.T. wasn’t really that into it (I don’t think he had the patience), but I was! I spent hours poking those tiny, colorful pegs into the illuminated screen, thinking each creation was absolutely the best thing that ever was!

Cooties: I’m not sure why I enjoyed playing with these, but I did. Cooties were plastic bugs with removable legs (see sidebar).

Garbage Pail Kids: Modeled after the much more innocent and angelic Cabbage Patch Kids, these trading cards featured their demented counterparts, and depicted dolls like Mick Dagger and Scary Carrie. They were gross and I loved them!

Hmmm, I wonder if I could find some of those on Ebay…

This entry was posted on Friday, November 10th, 2006 at 9:30 pm and is filed under Shopping, Parenting/Family, Losing It, The Holidays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.