Imaginary Friend

Thanks, fussy, for the idea of the virtual pet. As for my real-life pets: Buzz, Joey, Chateaubriand, Snorlax, Scooter, Grandpa Fraidy Cat and Cookie, they can all just take a hike. Alright, that’s a little cruel. I love ‘em truly, I do.

Buzz, the 80-year-old pug, got something stuck in his paw the other day and has been limping around pathetically all weekend. It’s funny, though, how he’s magically healed when bacon is being cooked in the kitchen. Weird.

Joey is a cattle dog. Need I say more?

Chateaubriand is a fierce, fat thing that terrorizes Snorlax.

Snorlax is a mildly retarded tabby with permanent petrified poop on his ass.

Scooter is a Siamese Fighting Fish who lives on the mantle.

Grandpa Fraidy, or just plain Fraidy, is a tough, old grey feral rescued from my husband like 25 years ago. Ok, fourteen.

Cookie is my little girl, a frisky black and white biatch I adopted in 2001.

And the newest addition: Me llamo llama! My perfect, hassle-free, obedient llama. He’s from Bolivia, I just decided. Click on “MORE” to feed him or just click him to make him jump. Trust me, he likes it.

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 5th, 2006 at 1:08 pm and is filed under Losing It, Animals. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

10 Responses to “Imaginary Friend”

Teena
November 5th, 2006 16:43
1

That’s quite a menagerie! Must be fun :)
coffee slut
November 5th, 2006 18:38
2

lmao @ permanent petrified poop! My sister has a cat like that …super long hair, and he is always carrying around a few friends on his bum. She has him shaved for the summer so he’s “friendless” for a few months. My cat has no dingleberries, but he does throw up alot. I think I need a virtual pet.
foradifferentkindofgirl
November 5th, 2006 22:05
3

ok, the cute little noise he makes? I think I love him…
Nanette
November 6th, 2006 02:25
4

Does your new virtual pet poop? I just fed him 2 bales of hay…and I’m not going to stick around for the clean up :)
Awesome Mom
November 6th, 2006 15:23
5

Thanks for the tip on great stress free pets. I got one for my blog.
Squirrel
November 6th, 2006 15:31
6

What’s the difference between a one-”l” lama, a two-”l” llama, and a three-”l” lllama, virtual or not?
quaily
November 6th, 2006 15:33
7

i give up.
jen
November 6th, 2006 16:08
8

a bolivian llama. i can’t think of anything quite as perfect.
Momish
November 6th, 2006 20:35
9

A lovely addition to your family indeed! Sounds like quite a terrific bunch you got there. Pet people rule!
Heather
November 7th, 2006 10:20
10

The petrified poop brings back traumatic memories of the cat we had growing up? Nothing is quite like having a cat in your lap, looking for some love, and noticing some foreign object stuck to the end of some hair or other places! This post is helarious! Good luck with your llama. That’s my kind of pet? Do they have virtual husbands?