Ok, Underachieving Mommy, I’m taking on your “cop-out survey” challenge (because I, too, am at a loss).

A - Age: 27
B - Band(s) listening to right now: Romeo Void, Beastie Boys (Check Your Head album), Ryan Adams, PJ Harvey
C - Career: pardon?
D - Drink or smoke: used to drink in mass quantities, got in lots of trouble, quit; used to smoke occasionally, mostly when hammered, quit that, too.
E - Easiest person(s) to talk to: my husband
F - Favorite song(s) at the moment: “Most Perfect Day, Ever” by Black Cat Music; “Hello, It’s Me” by Todd Rundgren
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: bears, the white ones
H - Halloween or Valentine’s Day: Halloween, ‘cuz no expectations
I - Ice cream, favorite flavor: Chunky Monkey
J - Junk foods you like: Taco Bell chicken quesadilla, Kit Kat, pear-flavored jelly belly, salt & vinegar chips (c’mon, this could go on forever!)
K - Krusty the Clown or Sideshow Bob: I used to watch Simpsons every day, got burned out, can’t pay me to watch it now
L - Longest car ride ever: any ride involving crying baby
M - My favorite sport(s): volleyball, swimming, frisbee, cycling
N - Number of relationships you’ve had: do one night stands count?
O - One wish you have: that my family remains healthy and happy
P - Phobias: the butterfly exhibit at 6 Flags; mummy-style sleeping bags
Q - Favorite Quote: it’s from Arrested Development and it goes like this:

Michael: There’s been a lot of lies in this family.
Gangee: And a lot of love.
Michael: More lies.

R - Reason to smile: every morning I wake up and see my beautiful baby
S - Snow or sun: ooh, that’s hard! hmmm…sun, I guess.
T- Time you woke up: 9 am
U - Unknown fact about you: yesterday marked the first day I took my car, by myself, to get the oil changed; oh, and I just now realized the questions are all alphabetical (DUH!)
V - Vegetable/fruit you hate: veggie–raw spinach; fruit–mango
W - Worst habit: buying shit I don’t need
X - X-rays you’ve had: broken arm, teeth
Y- Yummy food(s): anything with cheese
Z- Zodiac sign: Cancer

I gained a lot of weight when I was pregnant, like 50 pounds. I ate everything and anything I wanted. I exercised a bunch (3 times a week qualifies, right?), but still somehow managed to pack on the el bees. Two weeks before my due date, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. I don’t know if my weight gain had anything to do with it, but I’m pretty sure it didn’t help matters. I had no idea how serious preeclampsia was or what kind of risks were attached to the disorder. I didn’t have a lot of time to ask questions since, immediately after the diagnosis, I was sent to the hospital to be induced.

It wasn’t until later, when I began reading about this condition, that I realized I (and the baby) could have been in serious danger.

Needless to say, we both survived and are in good health - for which I am forever grateful. After he was delivered, my blood pressure went down and I lost 20 pounds. It looked as though I was headed back to the body I once knew…until, that is, I forgot it was going to require a bit of hard work! Fast-forward six months and…let’s put it this way: I’ve got a closet full of clothes that are getting dustier by the second.

I can’t fit into any of my old outfits, which is such a waste because I’ve got really cute shit. It drives me crazy. So, here’s the deal: I’ve decided to do the holidays differently this year; I’m not going to wait until the New Year to make my resolution. Instead, I’m going to do the work now, with my goal being to reach my target by New Year’s Day. And all of those reading this are witnesses to my vow!

‘Cuz seriously, this is getting so beyond old.

Am I crazy or does everyone start their days earlier than I? This is my routine: I get up around 8:30 to the sound of my husband singing songs to the baby about how he has to shave his beard or shave his head or walk the dogs:

“Daddy do! Daddy say! Daddy go!”
“Daddy shave! Daddy sing! Daddy know!”

Yes, it is true. Then, I mosey into the bathroom, put my hair in some sort of tolerable ponytail, brush my teeth and head to greet the baby. For the next 15 minutes or so, I talk to Squid, make fun of Jason scrambling to get out of the house and make a very large, very strong pot of coffee - all while adding my own colorful verses to his songs:

“Oh my god, shut up, you’re gonna make me cry.”
“If you don’t shut up, I’m going to kick your ass.”

“That doesn’t rhyme.”

“Ahhhhh!”

“Ha ha, I win! I win! I destroy you!”

“Yeah, you really do. Now, seriously, get dressed and leave.”

“Ha ha ha, you lose!”

“Oh! My! God! Get out of here!”

“I can see you smiling.”

“Shut up!” At which point I can’t hold it any longer and start to laugh, all the while throwing his clothes at him and pushing him toward the door.

Then, I sit down to my computer, flip on the television (watching 9 am reruns of Dawson’s Creek is a must in the whole starting my day routine), put the baby down for his morning nap and search other blogs.

Wow, it seems everyone but me posts reeaally early! I feel proud if I can get one out by noon. Does this make me a total loser or what? Either I’m the laziest mom alive or I’m super, super lucky! Such a fine line…

I spent the first few months of my son’s life chronicling “firsts” - first trip, first coo, first smile, first laugh, first party, first dip in swimming pool…the list goes on and on. As the summer drew to a close, the firsts got fewer and fewer. I still mark them, however spread out as they become, on my calendar; but where there were once firsts nearly every day, they now appear just a couple times a month (most recently, first tooth!).

And yet, this weekend was full of firsts. It was Fleet Week here in San Francisco and the sky was dotted with low-flying jets, the water littered with ships - huge aircraft carriers, container ships, tugboats, Coast Guard, speed and sailboats, etc., etc.

We decided to take Squid out on Saturday to watch the air show and ended up on a sandy spot under the Golden Gate. They did circles and spins above us for two hours and, while I object to war on principle, it’s hard not to get caught up in the excitement of massive hunks of steel doing tricks in the sky.

Then yesterday, we took a ferry ride to Sausalito and back - baby’s first boat ride! The look on Squid’s face was priceless. He laughed and squealed as the wind shook his whole body. The jets were out again, and the Parade of Ships was truly amazing to see from out there on the water.

But there was another first yesterday. As we drove to the pier, Squid was just beginning to drift into his morning nap. And the closer we got, Jason’s anxious eyes began to dart back to the car seat. “Is he sleeping, is he sleeping?”

“Yes, he’s napping. Why?”

“Darn!”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“I want him to see this!” It was the first time Jason expressed his desire to introduce our son to something that, in his mind, is a total guy thing: boats, jets, metal, power! And that’s when I realized maybe I should be keeping track of our firsts.

Part of me wanted to roll my eyes, but I must admit, it was pretty freaking cute! Next thing I know, he’ll be reading him car magazines before bed.

  

I spent some time with my dad yesterday. He came down to pick up my brother at the airport and had quite a few hours to spare, which is where my convenient locale and permanent “at home” status came in handy.

It was great. We watched a movie while I dutifully folded laundry from two or three or four days ago (I can’t keep track of it anymore), chatted and played with the baby.

Later, I made dinner and then challenged him to a game of Scrabble - which, by the way, I won. Okay, okay, in all fairness, he did give me a hint. I think the move he suggested in which I played “zoo” and “go” scored 32 points. Good one, Dad.

I so often think of family being my family - the one I live with day in and day out. I don’t take all the opportunities I have to be with the family that got me here. And when, on those rare occasions, I intentionally pump the brakes and look around, I see there is more to my life than that which is in front of my face when I wake up each morning. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I see each day and each evening; I love my life with my beautiful baby. I even, though it is sometimes hard to admit, love my marriage.

But I also love change. I love rediscovering things I thought were lost. I love challenges and obstacles that force me to grow. Remembering where I came from is key for me in understanding where I am going, in preventing me from going where I don’t want to go and gaining the courage to go where I never thought possible.

And ignoring, or putting off, or sidestepping people or events because it is easier to live inside my own head isn’t really living at all.

All this from a game of Scrabble…funny how life works that way.

It rained today - the first of the season. Ahh…fall! I love this time of year. Love, love, love. I love Halloween and cinnamon-scented candles. I love the smell of wet pavement and the sound car tires make when they rush through shallow puddles. I love the way streetlights look on rainy nights and being able to use my cute collection of umbrellas. Most of all, I love dressing in layers and sipping hot cocoa on the couch.

So, in preparation for all the upcoming rainy days I have to look forward to, I spent today “autumnizing” my house: putting up drapes, dusting shelves, rearranging furniture, washing clothes, placing candles, fluffing comforters and organizing the kitchen cabinets.

Phew. I’m tired all over again just writing about it. In all honesty, I did more than I should have, considering the recent disagreement I had with my lower back. But I couldn’t help myself! And now, looking around my living room, listening to the pitter-patter outside, I’m glad I did.

Now all I have to do is stock my pantry with cans of soup, endless bags of pasta and those little packets of instant apple cider. Of course, I’ll also have to whip out the Buns of Steel video and my wimpy, 5 lb. hand weights so I don’t gain any more weight on top of that which I still have to lose thanks to a sneaky little dude named Squid (or, more accurately, thanks to my lack of commitment to diet and exercise).

Gee, I wonder what my New Year’s resolution will be…can you guess?

One of the best things about having a 6-month-old is that they don’t care what you put in front of their faces; it could be a sippy cup and they’re delighted! Yay! A nondescript piece of plastic that I can play with, roll around, throw, squeeze, bite, bang and LOVE!

My 8-year old stepson, on the other hand, knows exactly what brand of cereal he wants and precisely which PSP games are acceptably cool - which in itself is a whole other realm of fun. I get to live inside the Toys ‘R’ Us catalog again like I did when I was little. I get to wander through the depths of Lego Star Wars, blasting clone troopers.

It’s what keeps us young, but more importantly (at least for me), it’s what keeps me humble. I now realize what my dad was talking about when he used to tell me I was smarter than him. How could that be? How could a little kid be smarter than a grown up!?

Now I get it. My kids are smarter than I will ever be because of the immense possibilities they face, because life is new and fresh and full of knowledge they actually want to obtain. Put it this way: when an 8-year-old can multiply numbers faster than you can, recite the names of every animal in National Geographic and point out that the t-shirt you’re wearing is the same one you wore last Thursday, you know you’re in trouble.

Kids grow up; they grow out of trends and adopt new ones; their needs become more specific and their tastes more refined. In short, my easygoing 6-month-old will one day be a high-maintenance little booger!

And I may not always be able to give him the clothes he wants or the newest and most popular games. But I can do what I do best, which is give him me. My time. My love. My silly if not stupid attempts to understand which comes first - Pidgeotto or Pidgeot.

Cuz let’s face it -isn’t that what they really want, above anything else?

Ever feel like your life is one huge volunteering effort? You give your time and your energy to this person and that, and at the end of the day, what do you get? A check payable to SAHM? I don’t think so.

But let’s face it - we’re lucky. And it might seem overly sentimental in a weird, even grotesque way, but when I stand at my son’s changing table replacing his soiled diaper with a fresh, clean one, I sometimes can’t help think about how this diaper is GOLD! And everything I take for granted every day - like his bottles and toys, crib and blankets, and yes, diapers and wipes and cream - are luxuries not every mom beholds.

It’s difficult to think of ourselves as fortunate when we are tired, when our backs have given up, when we have reached our wit’s end and still have dinner to make, laundry to wash and dishes to do. Sometimes in order to gain a little perspective, we need to step out of our lives and into the lives of others. Volunteering is the best way to make this happen.

Now that I am a mother, my perspective has completely changed and when I see a baby in need, I understand and respect more than ever what Angelina Jolie has done. To see a baby hurting or suffering is unbearable. I want to grab all those needy babies and take care of them myself! Obviously this isn’t possible and that’s where volunteering comes in.

If you’re interested in helping children other than your own (it’s a win/win situation!), here are some motivating resources:

VolunteerMatch - No matter where you live, this site will get you started on your way to making a difference. Just plug in your ZIP code and thousands of volunteering opportunities will instantly appear at your fingertips. There are 28 categories - from animals and environment to LGBT and Seniors - so if you’re interested in doing something that doesn’t relate to kids, there are plenty more options to choose from.

Oh! And the best part…you don’t even have to leave the house to help! Included in the options is a “virtual” category (click Search, then choose Virtual at the far right side of the screen) which enables you to volunteer online! This is perfect if you aren’t able to get away from the house (or your kids), and also provides opportunities for your children to get involved, as well.

Newborns in Need - Do you knit or crochet? Newborns in Need is a charity that aids premature and newborn babies by sending their families handmade clothing (store-bought items are also needed). If you’re a crafty mama like me, this is a perfect resource for you!

Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t take much time to volunteer; it’s not going to eat into your schedule if you don’t let it, and it will reward you in ways you never thought possible. Look at it this way - it’ll give you lots to blog about.