The Bad List

Don’t you hate it when you are thinking good things about someone and then they do something to piss you off and you’re left feeling really freaking dumb for thinking such nice thoughts? Not that those thoughts aren’t still valid, but in the moment you don’t dare remind yourself of that fact! Because, well DUH! You’re totally pissed!

Here are the top ten reasons why I thought my husband was the sweetest ever (until, that is, he pissed me off):

1. He always remembers to buy me my favorite things (cottage cheese and Crystal Geyser) at the store, even when I don’t remind him.

2. He saves the coupons out of the Sunday paper for me.

3. He is always there for me when I’m sad, even when it’s for a stupid reason (Nick Lachey speaking out on MTV).

4. He fills up my gas tank even when he’s mad at me.

5. When he calls the home phone, he talks for a long time on the answering machine, hoping I’ll eventually pick up.

6. He gets upset when he makes a mistake while painting my toenails.

7. He takes me to garage sales.

8. When I get a bill in the mail, he automatically opens it and puts it with his.

9. He makes me mix CDs.

10. When I miss a really obvious question playing Trivial Pursuit, he says, “You knew that one. Go ahead and roll again.”

And now…the Bad List:

1. He forgets things I told him two days ago.

2. He always has to be right.

3. He goes to sleep without saying goodnight to me.

4. He heats up spaghetti sauce in the microwave without covering it first.

5. He makes so much fucking noise when the baby is sleeping.

6. He turns all the lights in the house on, jacks up the heat, and then leaves.

7. He is always late.

8. He is never on time. (Same thing as number 7, but it is just that annoying, it deserves two slots.)

9. He is super cynical.

10. He spills crumbs in my car and doesn’t clean them up!

11. (Yeah, that’s right, I’m going past 10 on this one!) He opens two liters and leaves them sitting on the counter capless, so the next time you go to have a glass of soda, it is flat!

12. He doesn’t fucking LISTEN (and we’ve made a complete circle back to number 1).

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 16th, 2006 at 9:47 pm and is filed under Married Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.